Headlessness
Meditation Log April 18, 2020:
I was on a run that hadn’t gone well. I wanted to attempt a personal best, but the wind was against me and I couldn’t keep up the pace. It felt like conscious effort at every step.
I switched my watch from pace to distance, and on the last kilometer decided to let go. I dropped the goal, ignored the tug of discontentment, and let go of conscious effort.
My feet kept moving and my breath joined the rhythm. The world pulled me onward and my chin lifted up.
I consciously tried to move my sense of self down my body, towards the sensations of heart and breath. My vision seemed to shift lower too. Soon, the boundary of the top of my head disappeared.
My vision became an extension of me; the observer. I was now running with the feeling of being shaped like an octahedron, the bottom starting around my cheekbones, expanding outwards, and shooting up into the sky.
“Why an octahedron?” a thought asked.
And the shape responded with change. It became a mushroom cloud, hitting the visual ceiling of the sky and blowing outwards. The cloud rushed to the horizon and the ground at my feet, and melded me with the world.
I was on a run that hadn’t gone well. I wanted to attempt a personal best, but the wind was against me and I couldn’t keep up the pace. It felt like conscious effort at every step.
I switched my watch from pace to distance, and on the last kilometer decided to let go. I dropped the goal, ignored the tug of discontentment, and let go of conscious effort.
My feet kept moving and my breath joined the rhythm. The world pulled me onward and my chin lifted up.
I consciously tried to move my sense of self down my body, towards the sensations of heart and breath. My vision seemed to shift lower too. Soon, the boundary of the top of my head disappeared.
My vision became an extension of me; the observer. I was now running with the feeling of being shaped like an octahedron, the bottom starting around my cheekbones, expanding outwards, and shooting up into the sky.
“Why an octahedron?” a thought asked.
And the shape responded with change. It became a mushroom cloud, hitting the visual ceiling of the sky and blowing outwards. The cloud rushed to the horizon and the ground at my feet, and melded me with the world.
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