Thoughts Arise

A God separate to the universe seems impossible. Consider the universe; a flat, possibly boundless, plane. If there is a separate God, It exists outside this spacetime. So for the moment imagine God existing on another plane. On this plane, which predates space and time, there can be nothing but God. It cannot be an entity inside a bubble of spacetime, because then the bubble would have to exist first. Now consider God creating the universe. When the universe is created it would be inside God, or rather not outside , as there is nothing else where a bubble of spacetime can be created. And what would this universe be created from, but the essence of God? Yet how could the essence of a single indivisible sentience create separate things, both sentient and non-sentient? But separation has emerged. So perhaps there is no God. Or this separation is an illusion; everything is and exists within God; the Mind at Large . In either case, a God separate to everything else seems impossible. We are...

Today at the beach I closed my eyes and listened. For a few minutes the sound of the waves was almost all there was. I heard the rumbling roar of the crests, followed by the fizzling hum of the foam, and this duet filled my mind to the brim. The sound grew louder and the crescendo enveloped me till the waves seemed to crash over my head, toying with my sense of direction. There was a sense of unfathomable power, yet also deep calm, both spread over some immense distance. It was the sea announcing itself in the realm of my mind. Later in the day, during a more traditional meditation, I felt a similarity in the nature of sounds and thoughts. Sounds arise spontaneously. I have no control other than the level of concentration applied to the sound, and even that is hardly a conscious choice. Sounds are one way in which the natural processes of the world become known to us. Thoughts are really the same. I have no control over my next thought; it arises as mysteriously as a sound. Even concep...

I went for a run while repeating this pointer. I could soon feel myself brushing the world in the wondrous hues of spring. Colours point out how the world we see is not simply perceived as it is, but being modelled by our minds. And this can be felt rather than just understood. Trees, birds and flowers. When I named something "out there", I felt these labels existed in the world rather than in my head. And so naming became more intimate; connecting to these entities, rather than simply observing from a distance. As I came upon a person from behind, I recognised my expectations influencing perception. It was as if I imagined eyes in the back of their head, pointed at me and converging at some focal point behind my face. A while later, I heard a cyclist coming up from behind me, and this time the sensation was of their eyes boring into the back of my head. Is the felt location of the self simply a mental algorithm? Isn’t my heart as much a part of me as my brain? Pondering this...

Self loathing, social anxiety, embarrassment, and regret. I have felt them all strongly in my life. I think the misery of these mental states comes from the assumption of a better self. If only I was able to express my true self, life would be fulfilling. But, before we know it, we have been moulded by our genes and our environment and thrust into the world. So what is this ideal by which we judge ourselves? Shunryu Suzuki posited that Zazen (sitting meditation) itself is a direct expression of our true nature. And the peace that regular practice has brought makes me see great wisdom in this teaching. When we meditate we are expressing something that cannot be articulated well with words. In mindfulness meditation we sit in an alert posture and attempt to observe the breath and anything that arises. Through that very intent we accept that control is an illusion. We acknowledge that thoughts, sensations and emotions arise spontaneously. This expresses an unravelling of the volitional se...

I have wondered at times how the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle applies to the reality of the macroscopic world. How does indeterminacy at a basic level lead to predictability at a larger scale? After today’s meditation the principle seems more familiar. I looked for my face and could not find it; I only become aware of it when it's observed. My own subjective experience seems analogous to the uncertainty of the quantum universe. Aspects of my personality only come forth when they are expected by another or triggered by an interaction with the world. Decisions seem to waver within a space of possibility before some series of events brings them to a close. The mind seems to be a wave function of possibilities, collapsing into experience based on its interaction with the physical world. Perhaps someday we will realise that the apparent paradoxes of quantum physics describe our own experience more closely than we thought.    Image from www.freepik.com

I focus on the breath and physical sensations. I notice that there is always a distance between sensations. A four dimensionality to experience that is not centred on any single point. Eventually the focus fades. Thoughts and opinions emerge attached to a self. But, upon investigation, the self in each instance seems to be a stick figure; a vastly abstracted and simplified representation of what I am. My awareness naturally shifts from the head to heart. The warmth in my chest comes with the feeling of expansiveness and the background hum of a gentle emotion. As I let go the illusion of control, an insight begins to form. A true representation of my identity includes the innumerable connections that bind me to this world. Every beat of my heart effortlessly brings the image of a person I have known. Each pulse strikes a chord in resonance with the imagined heartbeat of a remembered soul. Well wishes emanate from my heart and flow across this web of connections with a complete lack of r...

Me; worried about tomorrow's burden. This; the heartfelt tenderness for a beloved voice. Me; separate from the world. This; deeply interconnected. Me; the one averse to beginnings and endings. This; where all that is known arises and fades. Me; weak-kneed in the shadow of death. This; without a familiar beginning or end. This is greater than me. Perhaps a platitude, but also a signpost to serenity. Photo from www.freepik.com