Rainbows

A question
I look at the tree at arm’s length. I see my body below. Both impenetrable beyond the surface.

I identify with one but not the other. From familiarity? From the range of sensation?

The hand I raise to touch the tree has gone through so much change. Tanned, vascular, fine hair at the back of the fingers; this hand suddenly seems unfamiliar.

The leaves of the conifer have a distinct texture; pliable yet with the firmness of geometric shape. The intimacy of touch only adds to the riddle; where do I draw the line between myself and the world?

A clue
It’s soon after sunrise on a cloudy day. There hasn’t been any rain, which makes the rainbow seem even more magical. I know it to be illusory, and that somehow makes its beauty more profound.

As my eyes follow the rainbow's arc into the clouds I wonder if they are any less of an illusion?

The clouds have form and texture I posit. Yet the form is nothing like this solid appearance, and the textures are the play of light and shadow. The clouds are the same as rainbows.

Even the ground below my feet seems to loosen its form. It feels unquestionably solid, yet if it rains the water will easily find its way inside.

The ground holds me up not because it is impenetrable, but because both the ground and I are made of stuff dancing to the tune of the quantum realm.

“An object that is experientially solid is actually empty space, filled with forcefields, and inhabited by antisocial subatomic particles that take energy to displace. And it is that required energy that makes things solid.” Don Lincoln, Scientist at Fermilab, Forbes

A glimpse
I experienced these events as I describe, but I couldn’t write them down for days. It felt pretentious; I am far from living this reality everyday. But today I found inspiration in a meditative state.

The first insight was in the sound of a bell. I wasn’t just at the receiving end of the chime; I was also at its source. It seemed so obvious; how else do we perceive the direction and source of sounds? The source too is being rendered by our minds; it is not truly “outside” us.

As this sunk in, other boundaries were shaken loose. Through half closed eyes I saw the wall, the brightness of the phone at the periphery, and my crossed legs below. And then there was the wall, the phone, and the body, without a separate observer. There was no one looking because these forms were appearing in their own place; known where they were, within the realm of mind.

It was deeply moving. The beating of my heart rose to the fore of attention, and as my eyes closed I felt as if my mind was a drop merging into some vast ocean. Or rather it had always been part of this ocean and I had somehow failed to notice this utterly liberating truth.

 

Photo created by nataliabostan – www.freepik.com